Next Contestant
by JohnnyPickAlot
Summary: Song Fic to Next Contestant by Nickelback. This fic is also AU, so if you have a problem with that, don't read. The setting is, Jack and Elizabeth, are at a strip club during our time period. Sparrabeth. Oneshot.


_I judge by what she's wearing  
Just how many heads I'm tearing  
Off of assholes coming on to her  
Each night seems like it's getting worse_

Jack Sparrow took in numerous deep breaths in attempts to calm down. He sat in a booth in a dark, secluded corner of the club. Exhaling, he let his head dip down slightly, making a few of his dreads fall in his face. He carelessly brushed them away as he scanned the area. Jack inhaled yet again. He was burning with anger and jealousy as he watched her grind on the shiny pedestal a few yards away. He also paid attention to how other people, men especially, were giving there fantasies a test drive. He growled in aggravation. He could just ring their necks for just glancing at her in the skimpy outfit. But as much as it pissed him off to no end, Jack couldn't hide the fact that he was aroused. And it hurt like a bitch against the tight denim of his jeans.

_And I wish she'd take the night off  
So I don't have to fight off  
Every asshole coming on to her  
It happens every night she works  
_

Jack's attention quickly changed to a scrawny college kid sitting in front of the strip way. He saw how he slowly took out a twenty dollar bill and carefully laid it on the pedestal.

_Modest bastard, _Jack thought to himself as she strutted over to the dude.

She was slow at first, seeing if he was going to give any more change. But seeing that he was being a bit of a tight ass she gave him one good twirl and shake, then left. Jack didn't know if he wanted to laugh or shoot the guy after seeing the frantic look on the dude's face. He immediately put out forty bucks on the runway.

_They'll go and ask the DJ  
Find out just what would she say  
If they all tried coming on to her  
Don't they know it's never going to work_

She came back and did her job, but it was still making Jack hot headed. It was like this every night. She'd come, she'd dance, she'd get hit on by men and women, she'd dance some more, and then they'd leave. It made him so mad, all he could see was red. Most of the times, they go to the DJ, who's a good friend of theirs, and ask if they could get her to come home with them by any chance. Bull shit. Not when he's around. No one touches his property. They just don't understand. They can get her as drunk as a rat who drowned in a beer barrel and they still wouldn't be able to get inside her. Stupid idiots.

_They think they'll get inside her  
With every drink they buy her  
As they all try coming on to her  
This time somebody's getting hurt_

_  
I even fear the ladies  
They're cool but twice as crazy  
Just as bad for coming on to her  
Don't they know it's never going to work_

Jack turned when he saw a group of strippers coming in her direction. He cocked an eyebrow.

_Better move up just incase…_

He slipped out of the booth and grabbed his beer. Slowly, he made his way to the tables near the strip way. He sat him self down on the farthest one and stretched out. He found her on the far right side of the strip way and he could tell she had sought him out as well. For she was looking straight at him with a teasing smirk on her face. For some unknown reason, this made his insides go on fire with anger. He wouldn't have been surprised if someone saw smoke come billowing out of his ears. She then grinned and went to the nearest pole. It infuriated him that she was pleased that he was angry. This was all a little game to her. He'll show her. Right when they step out of that front door, he'll show her how much of a game this is.

He hissed in pain as his member tried to protrude from his pants. But that wasn't going to happen for another thirty minutes. He watched as she dropped and twirled on the pole.

_It might be thirty seconds if she doesn't quit doing that. _

_Is that your hand on my girlfriend?  
Is that your hand?  
I wish you'd do it again  
I'll watch you leave here limping  
I wish you'd do it again  
I'll watch you leave here limping  
There goes the next contestant_

Right then is what did it for him. A tall, red headed, drunk bastard went right on the runway and grabbed her by the arm. Of course, the security guards started to come to get the asshole off of her, but Jack reached there first. He grabbed the guy by the back of the neck, turned him to face Jack, pulled back his fist and POW. Right in the eye. The idiot staggered back and fell off the damn strip way. Jack then turned to her and eyed her up and down.

"I believe it's time for us to go now, Lizzie." He slurred, huskily under his breath as he dragged her off the run way. She made no way to struggle as she was pulled out of the strip club after getting her regular clothes on.

"Why so rushed, Jack?" She asked in a low tone as the cool night breeze hit her face.

He then turned on her and slammed her against a nearby dump canister. Making his boner evident to her.

"Had to get you out there sooner or later, or I would've done you right there, right then."

Lizzie slid her hand down the front of his britches, "Not that I would've minded any…"

Jack growled in the back of his throat and knelt down to pick her up by her knees and bottom. Throwing her over his shoulder, she shrieked.

"Ye're going to have a long night with ol' Jackie, luv." He said with a huge grin on his face.


End file.
